Friday, September 23, 2005

Damn Those Socialist Dolphins!

Hello Thinkers!

The first time I saw this story on MSNBC, I was amazed. Eight dolphins swept out to sea by hurricane Katrina were found a few hundred yards off shore from their devastated aquarium. Workers from the aquarium had found them after a desperate search and were communicating with the animals - however the hell they do it.

GULFPORT, Miss. - In an 'unheard of' rescue operation, eight dolphins that were swept out of their oceanarium by Hurricane Katrina have been rediscovered hundreds of yards out at sea where trainers are tracking, feeding and caring for them.

Being one who enjoys the ocean and the wildlife contained therein (especially blackened - or grilled with lemon, capers and butter) I was touched by the interaction taking place between diverging branches of the evolutionary tree. Once the amazement wore off, my thoughts were: Let them go free. They have earned it. They have been through enough! That was until I heard (and subsequently read) this statement from Moby Solangi, president of the Marine Life Oceanarium in Gulfport, Mississippi (no that name is not a joke):

"When we first saw them, they were really starving. When they saw their trainers, they were absolutely flipping."

Then it dawned on me. If these aquatic mammals could vote, they would be called sea-donkeys. Sure enough, further statements from Jeff Potter, a marine biologist with the National Marine Fisheries Service concurred:

"More than likely, they've lost all their hunting skills, their social skills."

What a fitting analogy to the dolphins' bipedal peers in New Orleans. Neither animal has the ability to fend for itself. Both rely exclusively on the care and feeding from either aquarium handlers or the Democrat machine which has installed itself as overseer and master. However, at least the dolphins appear to have expressed some form of gratitude for the saving of their lives. In a September 10th interview on Fox News, Alicia Acuna and Bob Sellers interviewed a man whose useless ass was saved in an evacuation from New Orleans to Houston. The video of this interview is here:

Here is a partial transcript:

Alicia Acuna: Uh, the anchor in New York would like to know - his name is Bob - he would like to know what it is that you would like to happen. What do you want?

Unknown Man: What I would like to happen? I would like for them to give us at least $20,000 apiece [motions to girl on his arm], so we can, you know, get our life together, you know. We didn't ask to come on that that that bus slave... it's like a slave ship, it's like, you know, back in history, you know, they put us on a slave ship, they separated us from our family, they did it - You know, this is just modern day slavery, you know? Just give us what the f**k we deserve...

BOB SELLERS: Wh-wh-wh-whoa, woah... hold on. Hold on. That- that's, that's enough. I mean you've made your point, sir. We thank you very much for being with us, but Alicia?

Unknown Man: [Still talking off-camera] It's just like a slave ship...

Ahhhh, gratitude. And for those of you wondering why our government let down these people who chose to take the waiver on personal responsibility, here is what the local and state officials, largely democratic, have been doing with your tax dollars:

Senior officials in Louisiana's emergency planning agency already were awaiting trial over allegations stemming from a federal investigation into waste, mismanagement and missing funds when Hurricane Katrina struck. And federal auditors are still trying to track as much as $60 million in unaccounted for funds that were funneled to the state from the Federal Emergency Management Agency dating back to 1998.

And who was president in 1998? Why this must be all Clinton's fault!! Remember, these guys were on trial BEFORE Katrina hit.

The report also said the Louisiana agency had misspent $617,787 between May 2000 and September 2003.

Questionable expenditures identified by the inspector general included $2,400 for sod installation, several thousand dollars for a trip to Germany by the deputy director, $1,071 for curtains, and $595 for an L.L. Bean parka and briefcase. The inspector general also challenged unspecified spending for camera equipment, professional dues and a 2002 Ford Crown Victoria.

I wonder how long those curtains and that LL Bean briefcase held back the flood waters? But wait, there's more:

Louisiana's emergency office receives money directly from FEMA. It passes on much of the funding to local governments that apply for assistance. The audit reports said state operating procedures increased the likelihood of fraud and corruption going undetected.

For instance, a Nov. 30, 2004, report by Tonda L. Hadley, a director in the Denton field office, examined $40.5 million sent to the Louisiana agency, mostly for the Hazard Mitigation program. The report found that the state's emergency office did not have receipts to account for 97% of the $15.4 million it had awarded to subcontractors on 19 major projects.

***97%!!!! And while FEMA may be no model of efficiency, they make state and local agencies in Louisiana look like FEDEX:

About $2.8 million of the refund sought by FEMA went to consultant fees. Most of that money went to Aegis Innovative Systems, a Baton Rouge firm hired by many parishes to administer the flood buyout program. Aegis owners include Mark Howard, a former official at the Louisiana agency.

State Sen. Reggie Dupre said it appeared that parishes employing Aegis were especially successful in winning money from the state emergency preparedness agency.,1,5736422.story?page=1&ctrack=1&cset=true&track=mostemailedlink&coll=la-home-headline

There is just no other way to say it. Anybody who thinks more government control, higher taxes and more regulations are the way to go is an idiot.

And Kayne West said, "George Bush doesn't care about black people." What about the corrupt officials that blew our tax dollars intended to help the local New Orleans infrastructure? Did they care about black people? And just for laughs, here are some lyrics of various Kayne West tunes that go far in promoting academic achievement, moral standards and personal responsibility in the black community. First, some lyrics from the love ballad "Gold Digger" from the album "Late Registration":

WARNING: Explicit Lyrics Follow!! (I know, you're shocked)

(She did me wrong)
Now I ain't saying she a gold digger (When I'm need)
but she ain't messing with no broke niggaz
get down girl gone head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl gone head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl gone head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl gone head

and this touching verse:

18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years
I know somebody paying child support for one of his kids

And now some timeless lyrics from "School Spirit", from the album "The College Dropout":

I'ma get on this TV, momma
I'ma, I'ma break shit down
I'ma make sure these light skinned niggaz
Never ever never come back in style
Told 'em I finished school, and I started my own business
They say, 'Oh you graduated?'
No, I decided I was finished
Chasin' y'all dreams and what you've got planned
Now I spit it so hot you got tanned
Back to school and I hate it there, I hate it there
Everything I want I gotta wait a year, I wait a year
This nigga graduated at the top of my class..
I went to Cheesecake, he was a motherfucking waiter there

And finally, this lovely sonnet from "Bonnie and Clyde Freestyle":

I mean my credit was so pathetic I couldn't get a debit
I fill out for a car but shit they always debt it
My girl come over try to help me shine
How you gonna help me get a car your credit worser than mine
But everytime I get a check you be first up in line
Told you bout gold-diggin bitch it's worser than lying
You better grow up before I blow up
Have weed rolled up when I show up

The dolphins should have bolted when they had the chance.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Das Fairy

Hello Thinkers!

Tuff Jr. will be 10 months old very soon. Over the past week or two, he has gone from being mostly stationary - able to roll over and vacillate on all fours, to steadily crawling in an intended direction. This has exponentially increased what I call his 20RD, or "20 second radius of destruction." 20 seconds being the round-trip time it takes me to grab a cup of coffee from the kitchen. This has taken it's toll on dada, among others. The dog is acting peculiar lately, and I suspect it has something to do with the fistfuls of yellow hair regularly found in the grip of my progeny.

So yesterday, I had to do a double take at the dentist office waiting room when I read the insanity printed before me in the Tuesday, September 20th Boston Globe. I was unsure if the fog of sleep deprivation, along with the lack of coffee (a gift of compassion for the hygienist) was causing hallucinations.

Usually, I link you all to stories I expand upon, but this time I could not find an online version at, so you'll have to trust me.

Apparently there was a very close election in Germany last Sunday between Gerhard "Das Fairy" Schroeder, the two term chancellor of the Social Democrats and Angela Merkel from the Christian Democratic Union. The Globe story refers to Merkel as "unabashedly pro-American" and Schroeder's Social Democrats as "left-centrist" - which really means "communist pig" to the rest of the mainstream US.

Merkel, in addition to being pro-US, "has urged Germans to become more self-reliant and to expect less from government." Hmmm - I like this chick already. Pulling themselves up will certainly give Germany a better view as France plunges down the toilet faster than a Koran. And for those of you socialist pansies who think the "Euro-way is best" and are card-carrying members of the "Blame America First" crowd, the Globe reports that:
"Germany is suffering its highest unemployment in the post-WWII era, and economists say the government must cut taxes and loosen labor laws to make the country more competitive."

Remember, this is the Boston Globe reporting this!

Germany under "Das Fairy" Schroeder has openly fashioned itself as a counterbalance, not an ally to the US. Neighboring nations are a bit jittery given the electoral instability in the Fatherland and the history of the last century. I have not checked the overseas markets recently, but I imagine oven-futures are going up faster than crude oil.

But here is the real kick in the ass - and it ties in to countless other rants I have made on the double standards applied to liberals, and how rules just don't apply to them. According to the Globe, Angela Merkel defeated "Das Fairy" by 35.2 percent to 34.3 percent. It was a narrower than expected victory likely due to last second fear-mongering tactics by Schroeder's party, but nonetheless, still a victory for Merkel. What was the response from "Das Fairy"? To quote the Globe:

"Analysts were at a loss to explain Schroeder's assertion that, somehow, because Merkel had not done as well as expected earlier, he deserved to remain in power even though his party came in second in the balloting."

Unbelievable - yet very believable. Why? Because he's a liberal, and the rules - you know, they just don't really matter. Heinrich Oberreuter, a professor of politics at the University of Passau said it best:
"It is very astonishing, proclaiming himself champion because he didn't lose so badly."

It is not hard to believe that "Das Fairy" would pout and hold his breath until he is proclaimed winner when he has lapdogs in the Social Democrat party like secretary Klaus Uwe Benneter, who told local TV in an interview:
"The voters made clear they don't want Frau Merkel. I think we have the task of fulfilling the voters' wish that Gerhard Schroeder remain chancellor."

...And the French capitulated to these guys? Jeeeezee!

Saturday, September 17, 2005

The Antidote for Culpability

Hello Thinkers!

Have you ever been exhausted from the demands of life? Not the physical demands, like cleaning up the house, or working on some major domestic project - but the day to day concerns that require little physical exertion. Did I pay all the bills? Is my dog barking too late into the night? How will the kids do in school? All these worries can make you just as beat as if you had spent the day landscaping.

But fear not my friends! If this is a problem, I have a new miracle cure - simply be a liberal. Case in point. The ongoing, but scantily reported scandal involving The Gloria Wise Foundation and Air America. I won't go into the details of how the Foundation, which receives millions of our dollars to help inner city children and the elderly, decided to give Air America over $800,000.00 during their startup. Yep! That's right - your hard earned tax dollars, close to a million of them, went to pay Al Franken and Janeane Garafalo to sit in front of a microphone and blame Bush for everything from global (non) warming to the surge in illegal immigration (well, maybe they have a point there).

However, others are going an excellent job tracking the Air Enron story. Check out the details here:

My interest however lies in the wonderful elixir, the cure-all of culpability, being a liberal.

You see, in a recent interview on Fox News, William Press (formerly of the CNN show CrossFire... I know, I never watched it either) went on a no-holds barred defense of his idealogical sty-mates at Air America. Here are some excerpts from his interview with Neil Cavuto:

PRESS: So we agree, we agree the culprit here are the directors of this boys and girls club, or the executive director, who loaned this guy this money. They're the ones ought to be under investigation. The point I'm making is, this has nothing to do with the people who are now on the air on Air America, or that are now running Air America.

...that would be fine Bill, old man, except Air America hasn't come close to paying back the "loan" yet. Here's some more:

CAVUTO: --is it worth exploring to you--seriously--is it worth exploring to you whether the dots connect here, and whether there was a point in Air America's history where its very survival somehow was assured by this money? Whether you disagree with that or not, that that not maybe didn't happen, but to explore it?

PRESS: Let me just put a fact on the table. This loan occurred before Air America ever went on the air. When Air America went on the air they found out that--

...and why was this "loan" never disclosed until after it was blasted out in the blogosphere and in few select newspapers?

And what about the snake oil cure for culpability that I promised earlier? The warm soft glow of blamelessness is not far. Here is one of Bill Press's final statements of the interview:

PRESS: Hey Jim, Jim, Jim, nobody at Air America today is involved in this. Nobody, period. Get off it.

...And there it is! These are liberals at Air America - they are not to blame. So what if the previous management took your money intended for disadvantaged children and Alzheimer's victims? Air America has a whole new crop of saints at the helm now and all this should be water under the bridge.

I wonder how Bill Press feels about reparations?

I did do a google search and came up empty on any comments he may have made on that subject, but I did find his home page. On this he maintains a series of essays. I did not have the stomach to read them, but here are some titles:

Wal-Mart: Welcome to the new American Taliban
Don't blame diversity for Jayson Blair
Let the U.N. make the peace
Stop the bleeding: Shut down Guantanamo Bay
Arab world hates us - but don't blame Newsweek
Why Senate must reject John Bolton
Bush declares war on Social Security
Kerry makes clean sweep of debates
CBS fiasco doesn't let Bush off the hook
Swiftboats sink under waves of truth
Michael Moore's daring film
Capture of Saddam doesn't change a thing
Kerry Presidency Off to Strong Start (HA HA! I LOVE that one!)

So based on this, I have a fairly good idea what he probably thinks of reparations. Of course Corporate America is evil, but Air America is nice... so let them be. Ironically, Bill Press is collecting funding to start his own liberal network. Apparently not all of that money is, shall we say, clean.

Hypocrisy, thy name is Bill Press.