Friday, November 19, 2004

November 19, 2004 - The Olive Branch

Today's Commentary: November 19th, 2004

Hello Thinkers!

After some false alarms, it looks like monday is the day we will be bringing another angry, white male into the world. Keep up the Thinking fight while I'm away. Enjoy your turkey, and remember our men and women overseas who will be keeping our holiday travels safe.

How about that UN huh? Like a weekend camper with a beer cooler at their side and not a shower in sight, even they can't take their own stink sometimes. A quick peek at the NY Times, Washington Post and other news sites showed no mention of this breaking story - now there's a shocker! I had to get this one from the pac rim:

We will have to see what comes of this, but don't expect to get any updates from Dan bin Rather. He's busy humping Clinton's leg over the new presidential library in Little Rock.

Keep an eye and ear out and notice how well some liberals are treating the recently nominated black, female Secretary of State. Here's a primer to get you started:

Now, which party is it that looks out for the best interests of minorities again? Where is the outrage from the NAALCP? or the National Organization of Whiners?

Lastly, I submitted the following letter to my local paper, The Lawrence Eagle Tribune for their letters to the editor section. They have printed all my previous submissions with some minor edits. I suspect they will do the same with this. It may be time to take out insurance on my mailbox.

Most people end their holiday letters by wishing you "peace." Since you all are Thinkers and can appreciate the difference, I will wish you something better...


Ever since John Kerry's concession speech, liberal Democrats and the media elite have opined that President Bush needs to extend an olive branch to the party that lost senate seats, house seats and the white house in the 2004 election. Examples of how to do this correctly include nominating moderate to liberal justices for SCOTUS, adopting policies that were rejected by the majority of voters and appointing Cabinet members that would provide "balance." Funny, I never recall hearing a similar appeal to balance Clinton's Cabinet. Be that as it may, I would like to extend my own olive branch to these same media and Democrat elites as a way to heal our nations ideological chasm. In addition, I too would like to make some requests.

Please continue to think that my opposition to the redefinition of marriage, an institution which has not deviated for thousands of years, means that I am a lynching homophobe that would march all gay people to a gas chamber, given the chance. Please continue to believe that I know no gay people that I would call a friend.

Please continue to believe that you know how to spend my money better than I do.

Please continue to think that because I oppose partial-birth abortions and non-parental notification for minors seeking an abortion that I would ban all abortions in all circumstances. Please also continue to believe that I am a Bible-thumping Christian that postulates all non Christians will go to hell - not because of their actions, but because they do not share my faith.

Please continue to believe that the democrats resounding loss is because they have not moved to the left far enough. Please continue moving in that direction. The cliff is way, way off in the distance. Trust me.

Please select Howard Dean to replace Terry McAuliffe as the head of the DNC. Please continue to exclude Joe Lieberman from any real shot at the presidency.

Please continue to support Tom Daschle in his efforts to block President Bush's judicial nominees. Oops, never mind.

Please continue to describe the US Marine in Fallujah who shot an unarmed, injured terrorist as a war criminal, despite the fact that booby-trapping the dead and wounded in Iraq is common practice. Please also continue to hold John Kerry in high regard for shooting a lone, fleeing, teenage Viet Cong in the back.

Please continue to refer to the radical Muslims in Iraq who behead civilians and who executed aid worker Margaret Hassan as "rebels" and US troops as "occupiers."

Please continue to lionize Michael Moore, and hold him in a position of reverence in the Democratic party.

Please continue to believe that law abiding citizens have no right to defend themselves against armed criminals.

Please continue to believe that on the night of November 1st, Vice President Cheney rose from his coffin in the 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue bunker, turned into a bat, and flew to Ohio and Florida to sabotage the voting machines.

Please continue to think that Teresa Heinz would have made a swell first lady.

Please continue to believe that because I voted for President Bush, I am a knuckle dragging idiot without a shred of common sense. And that because of my selfish vote, I have denied the world a flood of stem cell based miracle cures for everything from AIDS to paralysis.

But most of all, please, please, please continue to believe that arrogance is a desirable characteristic which will continue to serve you well in 2008.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

November 15, 2004 - Liberal Ideology Effect

Today's Commentary: November 15th, 2004

Hello Thinkers!

As I write this, I am deep inside the recently renovated tuffbeingright bunker, far behind the enemy lines in the blue People's Republic of MA. As the early snow falls from the November sky, we are at B minus 9 days - where B can stand for baby, boy or bedlam, take your pick. We are also at W plus ten days - where W can stand for win, whoppin', or just plain W.

As I listen, off in the distance that's not the surf I am hearing - it is wailing and the gnashing of teeth. I sometimes wonder if describing my residence as a bunker behind enemy lines is a bit excessive or even paranoid. Quite possibly - but then I look at what the left is writing and saying and decide that I'm as sound as a pound, baby. In fact, I'm starting to think that liberalism could in fact be described as a mental health "issue". It could go by the nomenclature Liberal Ideology Effect, or LIE. Some of the symptoms of this condition appear to be excessive post-election depression, accompanied by irrational behavior, delusional arrogance, vertigo, fainting, violent tendencies and even death.

This may sound a bit harsh, especially in the climate of reconciliation that even Johnny Hair has implored us to create. However, I will submit to the Court of Thinkers the following evidence. You will have to decide for yourself if the minions of the left are suffering from LIE.

Lets examine the first symptom of LIE, post-election depression accompanied by irrational behavior. Now, would I be a bit depressed if my candidate lost? Sure, but life - if not liberty, would go on. I would not however consider emigrating, seeking professional therapy, or promote state secession. A new battle would be at most 4 years away and despite the periodic cynical nature of my prose, I consider myself an optimist. However, some actions appear to be the initial manifestations of mild cases of LIE. In Boca Raton, trauma specialists have to date, treated 15 ailing Kerry supporters with 'intense hypnotherapy'. The afflicted were observed "threatening to leave the country or staring listlessly into space. They were emotionally paralyzed, shocked and devastated." The Boca Raton therapists have used the term 'post-election trauma', probably because the designation 'sucker-cha-ching' was already trademarked by John Edwards, LLP. To me, it sounds like LIE.

A popular idea among the ailing is the idea of blue state secession. It appears to some that the blue states can get by just fine without the red states. Sure they would take the northeast, California, Washington and Oregon and a few refueling stops in fly-over country. However, what I believe would be more appropriate would be the secession of the blue counties. This way the super-genius liberals could be sure they weren't hindered by any knuckle draggers as they create their socialist nirvana. Hopefully they are not claustrophobic, because blue space for them would be at a premium.

The next major symptom of LIE, delusional arrogance, seems to be especially rampant in the blue state centric print media. Writers such as Maureen Dowd have been on a personal jihad - convinced that the red state morons are not worthy to clean her shoes. Finding op-eds that describe conservatives as, at best misinformed and more commonly greedy, homophobic, troglodytes are not hard to find. But 59 million of us are also suffering slings and arrows from across the pond too. In one of the most disgusting displays of unbridled arrogance, the UK's Register has published a letter to the "Red-State Victors", from what must be a whining Kerry supporter in the US:

"President Kerry would have helped us to help you, which is all that we ask. It pains us to see you in wage slavery. It pains us to see you so ignorant and uneducated, and so eager to place yourselves in bondage. Yes, we live better; but we wish you to live better too, even if it means sacrifice on our part."

it gets better:

"We should let you rot. We should secede and leave you to fend for yourselves. Then you will see firsthand just how dependent you are. We are sick of fighting for you by fighting against you."

I highly suggest you follow this link and read this open letter in its entirety:

Well gitchi gitchi ya ya da da - I get it now! I am an idiot because I didn't believe John Edward's claim that electing Kerry/Edwards would definitely cure paralysis and other ailments within a few short years.

While this was a letter from and to US citizens, I am certain it did not break the Registers heart to print it. Location probably influences to some degree the true opinion of the Europeans. Their perception of America likely varies depending on whether they are from a part of Europe who's ass we saved or a part of Europe who's ass we kicked.

The warning signs of LIE get more ominous with progression of the imbalance. As impossible as it may seem, fainting and vertigo have hit the brave, selfless souls in the acting community. The NY Post's Page Six recently reported:

November 11, 2004 -- VINCENT D'Onofrio, the star of "Law & Order: Criminal Intent," passed out while shooting the hit TV series yesterday morning — prompting insiders to gossip that the actor is "losing it."

Hmmm. Sounds like an advanced case of LIE. Lets read on:

D'Onofrio, a big Kerry supporter, was said to be devastated over President Bush's re-election. "When PAGE SIX wrote about 'Law & Order' putting up signs forbidding political discussions on set, it was funny," our source said. "Those signs were put up because of [D'Onofrio]."

As this ailment progresses, the manifestations make arrogance and fainting seem like childs play. As LIE victims approach terminal stages, violent tendencies emerge. For your consideration:

Also, the Democratic Underground was buzzing with talks of large scale riots if Bush "stole" another election. Check out some posts from DU patrons "T Wolf" and "colonel odis."

T Wolf Tue Nov-02-04 11:00 AM
I feel that it would be better to take down the entire farce that used to be America if it is so far gone as to be unrecognizable, and unendurable.


colonel odis Tue Nov-02-04 11:34 AM
there aren't enough cops or soldiers in this land to stop a couple million pissed off democrats who decide to descend on washington

but if the republicans have any ambition of being a party in the next 10-15 years, they may want to step aside this time and rebuild their party. otherwise, it will probably be open season --literally and figuratively -- on republicans.

Some open minded liberals are dispensing with the formality of riots and are promoting immediate implementation of extermination. Observe clips from this post on from "moulty":

At this point in time, would it be morally defensible to apply a "final solution" to republicans?

Is it now morally excusable to organize midnight raids on republican groups in the red states and "terminate" them with extreme prejudice?

Watching Bush's acceptance speech on wednesday, with the Cheney's on stage as well....who would not have liked to see a bomb go off under the stage and wipe out the whole despicable slimy lot of them? And hopefully the shrapnel would have gone to the second deck and blown Mary Matalin's head off as well."

So much for the "Party of Ideas."

Finally, LIE can apparently result in death. After Kerrys concession speech, a supporter from Georgia drove to Ground Zero in NYC with a shotgun and committed suicide.

In a very real sense, this man personifies the post-Clinton democratic party elite. Their brains are about 8 feet behind them and they are approaching room temperature. The proof? They are convinced that the party just isn't left enough for America. The names being tossed around to replace Terry McAuliffe are: Howard Dean, Donna Brazille, Harold Ickes and others that clearly appeal to mainstream America.

Sweeeet. Whoever had that idea, well I'd like to shake their hand, just so long as they wash it first.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

November 3, 2004 - Morning in America

Morning in America

Hello Thinkers!

Will Elizabeth Edwards please report backstage for a sound check? Your solo begins in 10 minutes. Tonight's dessert, humble pie ala mode, compliments of Crow's Eatery of Copley Square, will be served shortly.

Yes Thinkers, it is a highly caffinated "Morning in America." For some however, it is "Mourning in America." And a sweet one it is. It is time to reflect on just some of the history that was made in the past 24 hours.

George Soros spent $25M and got what? An ass whoopin'. His attempt to buy the election came up empty when the voters of fly-over country, the vast, vast majority of whom will never see his kind of wealth, told him to stick his wads of cash back - not in, but near his wallet. Being rich does not make you right. Maybe Teresa can give him some pointers on this lesson. Later though, she's still in class.

Tom 'The Gatekeeper' Daschle is going to have to warm up the tractor. But don't worry. If his crop fails next season, this "man of the people" can always rely on his wife's paycheck as a lobbyist for - get this, evil big business. In particular, this former Miss Kansas lobbies for the airline industry. You know, the companies that got a huge chunk of your money after September 11th. In fact one of her clients, American Airlines received over half a billion in cash grants - taxpayer funds - that it won't have to repay. Funny, I never heard Dan bin Rather talk about that.

Daschle isn't the only congressional democrat heading back to the farm. Republicans are looking at a gain of at least 2 seats in the senate at the time of this writing, maybe 4.

Even a ringing endorsement from Usama bin Laden could not move the electorate for Kerry. True to his Islamic principles, UBL used both the carrot and the stick, threatening "red" states with rivers of blood after November 2nd, and claiming "blue" states will have "chosen to make peace with us." This must be the support of unnamed foreign leaders Kerry spoke about during the campaign.

And true to his pacifist ways, Kerry took a poll to determine what to say about bin Laden's support. The last principle Kerry ever saw was in his boarding school.

Supporters of gay marriage took it in the shorts yesterday and surprisingly, didn't like it! Whoever got the gay marriage issue on the ballot is brilliant. I have to believe this topic, which was crushed in Kentucky, Georgia, Mississippi, Arkansas, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Utah, and Oregon probably did more to energize the conservative base than any other ballot initiative. Ultimately, as one of The Thinkers pointed out to me this morning, we have the Massachusetts highest court to thank for this. To them, I express my gratitude - you fools.\Nation\archive\200411\NAT20041103a.html

However, Bush's victory of the electoral and popular vote (something Clinton never did) underscores, in my humble opinion, a microcosm of our society, the aging main stream media, and liberal arrogance. Now before I get in trouble, I am not saying all liberals are arrogant. I have several liberal friends - well, maybe not today, but eventually they will come back around after an appropriate period of sorrow - and they are not arrogant. What I am saying is that it feels real good to take the arrogant liberals and stick their heads in the toilet bowl of socialism and flush, like we did today. For your consideration I offer the following "swirlies" that I noticed.

First as I surfed between Fox News and the alphabet soup agencies, only Fox consistently used the term "President Bush." Bin Rather, Jennings, Brokaw, et al made reference to "Senator Kerry" and "Mister Bush." It is PRESIDENT BUSH you bitches! Get used to it!

Second, the media gleefully reported exit poll data supporting Johnny Hair. If you watched any of CBS' election coverage, this merriment turned to panic as bin Rather called Florida for Bush. His cadence put the pedal to the metal going through the math that might have kept Kerry alive. As the evening dragged on, bin Rather's face began to resemble the electoral map - mostly red, with blue ears.

Third, at about noon yesterday, the Dow was up over 100 points on the falling price of oil. Then as the exit polls showed Kerry momentum, all gains were lost. This was reported as "the markets reaction to uncertainty." Right! I think it was the markets reaction to Kerry socialism. Scuttlebutt from Wall Street indicates this as well. Funny how the DJI is up over 100 points on news of Kerry's concession. Must be that "certainty" thing again.

Fourth, Ted "Jabba the Hut" Kennedy predicted early a Kerry win in no uncertain terms. Hiding out in the Kerry bunker of Copley Square was no safe haven from the shock and awe of the Florida and Ohio JDAMs. Hopefully tears don't ruin the taste of vermouth. Drown, you pig!

And last, in a display of non-character that rivals his senate record of non-voting, Johnny Hair made his supporters wait outside in the cold rain for hours as the results came in. At 2:30 in the morning, he sent his lap dog, the boy blunder out to do his bidding while he was likely being soothed by Teresa's manly charm.

Holding on to hope and arrogance, some Kerry supporters waited out to the bitter end, like a woman from Ireland who told a reporter, "It clarifies the fact that American people aren't so smart. If I could, I would have voted for Kerry."\Politics\archive\200411\POL20041103d.html

And these people wonder why they cannot get the majority of American voters.

Well, Johnny Hair can take solace in one aspect of his loss. Now he doesn't have to make all those plans he kept talking about.

On to Fallujah!