Friday, September 23, 2005

Damn Those Socialist Dolphins!

Hello Thinkers!

The first time I saw this story on MSNBC, I was amazed. Eight dolphins swept out to sea by hurricane Katrina were found a few hundred yards off shore from their devastated aquarium. Workers from the aquarium had found them after a desperate search and were communicating with the animals - however the hell they do it.

GULFPORT, Miss. - In an 'unheard of' rescue operation, eight dolphins that were swept out of their oceanarium by Hurricane Katrina have been rediscovered hundreds of yards out at sea where trainers are tracking, feeding and caring for them.

Being one who enjoys the ocean and the wildlife contained therein (especially blackened - or grilled with lemon, capers and butter) I was touched by the interaction taking place between diverging branches of the evolutionary tree. Once the amazement wore off, my thoughts were: Let them go free. They have earned it. They have been through enough! That was until I heard (and subsequently read) this statement from Moby Solangi, president of the Marine Life Oceanarium in Gulfport, Mississippi (no that name is not a joke):

"When we first saw them, they were really starving. When they saw their trainers, they were absolutely flipping."

Then it dawned on me. If these aquatic mammals could vote, they would be called sea-donkeys. Sure enough, further statements from Jeff Potter, a marine biologist with the National Marine Fisheries Service concurred:

"More than likely, they've lost all their hunting skills, their social skills."

What a fitting analogy to the dolphins' bipedal peers in New Orleans. Neither animal has the ability to fend for itself. Both rely exclusively on the care and feeding from either aquarium handlers or the Democrat machine which has installed itself as overseer and master. However, at least the dolphins appear to have expressed some form of gratitude for the saving of their lives. In a September 10th interview on Fox News, Alicia Acuna and Bob Sellers interviewed a man whose useless ass was saved in an evacuation from New Orleans to Houston. The video of this interview is here:

Here is a partial transcript:

Alicia Acuna: Uh, the anchor in New York would like to know - his name is Bob - he would like to know what it is that you would like to happen. What do you want?

Unknown Man: What I would like to happen? I would like for them to give us at least $20,000 apiece [motions to girl on his arm], so we can, you know, get our life together, you know. We didn't ask to come on that that that bus slave... it's like a slave ship, it's like, you know, back in history, you know, they put us on a slave ship, they separated us from our family, they did it - You know, this is just modern day slavery, you know? Just give us what the f**k we deserve...

BOB SELLERS: Wh-wh-wh-whoa, woah... hold on. Hold on. That- that's, that's enough. I mean you've made your point, sir. We thank you very much for being with us, but Alicia?

Unknown Man: [Still talking off-camera] It's just like a slave ship...

Ahhhh, gratitude. And for those of you wondering why our government let down these people who chose to take the waiver on personal responsibility, here is what the local and state officials, largely democratic, have been doing with your tax dollars:

Senior officials in Louisiana's emergency planning agency already were awaiting trial over allegations stemming from a federal investigation into waste, mismanagement and missing funds when Hurricane Katrina struck. And federal auditors are still trying to track as much as $60 million in unaccounted for funds that were funneled to the state from the Federal Emergency Management Agency dating back to 1998.

And who was president in 1998? Why this must be all Clinton's fault!! Remember, these guys were on trial BEFORE Katrina hit.

The report also said the Louisiana agency had misspent $617,787 between May 2000 and September 2003.

Questionable expenditures identified by the inspector general included $2,400 for sod installation, several thousand dollars for a trip to Germany by the deputy director, $1,071 for curtains, and $595 for an L.L. Bean parka and briefcase. The inspector general also challenged unspecified spending for camera equipment, professional dues and a 2002 Ford Crown Victoria.

I wonder how long those curtains and that LL Bean briefcase held back the flood waters? But wait, there's more:

Louisiana's emergency office receives money directly from FEMA. It passes on much of the funding to local governments that apply for assistance. The audit reports said state operating procedures increased the likelihood of fraud and corruption going undetected.

For instance, a Nov. 30, 2004, report by Tonda L. Hadley, a director in the Denton field office, examined $40.5 million sent to the Louisiana agency, mostly for the Hazard Mitigation program. The report found that the state's emergency office did not have receipts to account for 97% of the $15.4 million it had awarded to subcontractors on 19 major projects.

***97%!!!! And while FEMA may be no model of efficiency, they make state and local agencies in Louisiana look like FEDEX:

About $2.8 million of the refund sought by FEMA went to consultant fees. Most of that money went to Aegis Innovative Systems, a Baton Rouge firm hired by many parishes to administer the flood buyout program. Aegis owners include Mark Howard, a former official at the Louisiana agency.

State Sen. Reggie Dupre said it appeared that parishes employing Aegis were especially successful in winning money from the state emergency preparedness agency.,1,5736422.story?page=1&ctrack=1&cset=true&track=mostemailedlink&coll=la-home-headline

There is just no other way to say it. Anybody who thinks more government control, higher taxes and more regulations are the way to go is an idiot.

And Kayne West said, "George Bush doesn't care about black people." What about the corrupt officials that blew our tax dollars intended to help the local New Orleans infrastructure? Did they care about black people? And just for laughs, here are some lyrics of various Kayne West tunes that go far in promoting academic achievement, moral standards and personal responsibility in the black community. First, some lyrics from the love ballad "Gold Digger" from the album "Late Registration":

WARNING: Explicit Lyrics Follow!! (I know, you're shocked)

(She did me wrong)
Now I ain't saying she a gold digger (When I'm need)
but she ain't messing with no broke niggaz
get down girl gone head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl gone head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl gone head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl gone head

and this touching verse:

18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years
I know somebody paying child support for one of his kids

And now some timeless lyrics from "School Spirit", from the album "The College Dropout":

I'ma get on this TV, momma
I'ma, I'ma break shit down
I'ma make sure these light skinned niggaz
Never ever never come back in style
Told 'em I finished school, and I started my own business
They say, 'Oh you graduated?'
No, I decided I was finished
Chasin' y'all dreams and what you've got planned
Now I spit it so hot you got tanned
Back to school and I hate it there, I hate it there
Everything I want I gotta wait a year, I wait a year
This nigga graduated at the top of my class..
I went to Cheesecake, he was a motherfucking waiter there

And finally, this lovely sonnet from "Bonnie and Clyde Freestyle":

I mean my credit was so pathetic I couldn't get a debit
I fill out for a car but shit they always debt it
My girl come over try to help me shine
How you gonna help me get a car your credit worser than mine
But everytime I get a check you be first up in line
Told you bout gold-diggin bitch it's worser than lying
You better grow up before I blow up
Have weed rolled up when I show up

The dolphins should have bolted when they had the chance.


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