October 3, 2004 - John Kerry: The Tower of Babble

Today's Commentary: October 3rd, 2004

John Kerry: The Tower of Babble

I really enjoy beer. Especially when the temperature and humidity drop and the heavier beers become more palateable. But for the past few years I have been cutting back on my carbs, and now, though I still imbibe, the Phil policy is to make my beer intake count. This means the Buds and Millers are basically out unless I'm really hard-up for a brew. This policy choice puts me in a bit of a dilemna at times in my quest for the full-effect beverage. For example, I think Sierra-Nevada pale ale is probably the best looking beer out there. It has a wonderful dark hue and watching the bubbles rise in the glass can be virtually hypnotic. However, I don't think it is the best tasting beer out there. And after all, taste is why you end up selecting a beer ultimately, not because you want something to stare at.

Why do I mention this? Simple. Substance is what truely matters, not the amber (or orange) hue of your selection.

I have spoken to a few ardent bush supporters since the recent presidential McDebate (you know who you are). Their response was uniform - extreme stress from watching Bush get his ass handed to him by Jean Francois Kerry. The press seems to agree in the verdict that Kerry won the McDebate. I don't. Like my beers, I judge candidates more on substance, not panache.

Sure, Kerry was polished and carried himself in a presidential way. He had no uncomfortable pauses and his cheeks were nice and rosy. I thoroughly expect the polls of people (read that as 'not necessarily registered and likely voters') to show Kerry gaining recently lost ground, maybe even taking a lead. Given this, why do I think Kerry lost? It was his content, not his delivery. And what was the content? In a nutshell it was "I am still the panty-wearing, pacifist, francophile that will subvert decisions of American defense to the tin horn despots some refer to as the UN."

If the security moms were listening, they didn't miss it.

First, Kerry was pushing the cessation of US development of nuclear 'bunker buster' weapons. Why? If terrorists and their networks are building effective defenses against us deep underground, why should we deny ourselves the weapons that can get at them? Would they grant us the same courtesy? Johnny Hair apparently thinks so.

Next, why does Kerry want to start up bilateral talks with North Korea? He chides the Bush administration for not building appropriate alliances, but he would reward a vicious dictator, who is actively creating nuclear weapons by having exclusive talks with him? What does he have in mind? What would he offer them? Is he trying to validate the rousing success of the Clinton/Albright policy towards North Korea? Kim Jong Il has already launched a missile over Japan - apparently for shits and giggles. Why does Kerry want to legitimize this tyrant?

Then, Kerry criticizes Bush for correctly turning away from the Kyoto global warming treaty. As if signing this economic Do Not Resuscitate form would suddenly get France and Germany to send troops to Iraq and persuade Al-Queda and other Islamo-facists to cease any plans to attack the US?

The coup de grace of the McDebate however, came from Johnny Hair's remarks on the Iraq war not passing the "global test." Huh? He claimed that he would not put our security in the hands of other nations - who is he kidding? He attacks Bush on rushing to war - yet our invasion of Iraq was the most telegraphed punch in military history. Did Kerry want the US to wait for Chirac to give us the A-OK? How many more resolutions did Kerry want? My second biggest beef with Bush on the Iraq invasion is that he neglected the most fundamental tenets of military success - deception and suprise. My biggest beef is that he still has the kid-gloves on.

Zell Miller was right on the money. Kerry would let Paris decide when the US needs defending. This is clear despite his claims to the contrary. Kerry's entire orientation is that of 'global village' first, America second. If the RNC is smart, Kerry's "global test" comment will feature prominently in future ads.

As I stated either directly or indirectly in the past, I view my choice of this years presidential candidates as being roughly equivalent to the choice between surgery to remove my appendix (Bush) and having the festering tissue explode in my gut (Kerry). And I REALLY do not want to have my appendix explode in my gut.

If any of your liberal friends tells you Kerry won the McDebate, just tell them "Maybe. But Kerry is all foam and no beer."