Monday, September 13, 2004

September 14, 2004 - Bin Rather Lied! Babies Died!

Today's Commentary: September 14th, 2004

Bin Rather lied - Babies died!

Hello Thinkers!

I am going to do my best to keep this one clean, but it won't be easy.

Do you recall, a few years back, the advertisements for a product, a pill, that would lower your weight by encapsulating the fat from the food you consumed? The idea being that the fat would pass through your system instead of being absorbed and eventually parking in the reserved spaces on your love handles. Great idea, until they got to the high speed verbal warning at the end of the commercial describing the side effects. Remember those? Spontaneous uncontrollable bowel movements and gas with oily discharge...yum! People apparently decided that they would rather have their fat on their body instead of in their shorts, because I don't see or hear commercials for this wonder drug anymore.

Now there are commercials for 'male dysfunction' drugs with product warnings that have me a little concerned. For the record, I take neither Cyalis, Livitra, nor any similar product. However, the reason for my distress is that the commercials for these products warn users to seek medical attention if they maintain an 'elevated state' for more than four hours. While not using these products, I have been in an excited state, bordering on sexual arousal, for the past four DAYS - ever since I found out that Dan bin Rather has based a "60 Minutes" Bush bashing story on a potentially falsified document.

The past few days I feel like I have been carrying on a steamy, lurid affair. Leaving work early to consummate my rendezvous with breaking news updates has been only part of my recent erratic behavior. My wife cannot understand why I am wearing expensive cologne every day. I have strained my right shoulder spending too many hours at the gym this week. I called the 800 number for Frederick's of Hollywood to order the French Maid silken teddy for my TV. When they asked me what size, I said "37 inch diagonal." For lunch, I dash to my car for a quickie with news talk radio. For my dinners with the 6 o'clock news, I have been lighting taper candles, raiding the wine rack for my favorite merlots and red zinfandels and settling back with expensive meals - filet mignon, shrimp, rack of lamb and oysters, lots of oysters.

This has been a whirlwind affair for me - no love, no nurturing, no caring - just raw, gritty, violent gratification, the way it was supposed to be. Watching bin Rather squirm like an oozing earthworm impaled on the treble hook of reality, scrutiny and at least semi-objective journalism has been intensely draining. I have taken up smoking. My back hurts.

This runaway freight train started tepidly enough, as just another biased news story from bin Rather on 60 minutes. In his attempt to bring down the President's rising poll numbers, Dan scooped a story which would indicate Bush's activity in the Texas Air National Guard would make him unfit to be C-in-C for this country. Nevermind the fact that he has been doing just that for the past 3+ years - during wartime no less.

Bin Rather's primary evidence? Documentation and an interview with Former Texas House Speaker and Lt. Gov. Ben Barnes.

This information claims Bush received preferential treatment to avoid overseas deployment during the Vietnam War, and shirked responsibilities to get out of Guard duty altogether. More telling than any part of the Barnes interview was the initial recorded exchange between the Texas politician and bin Rather:

First of all, thank you for doing this.

Glad to be here. Yeah.

Yep. That just about says all you need to know.

Then came the first questions about validity of the supporting documents. Who would have known that this initial story could have snowballed lustfully into what may be the demise of bin Rather? The proportional fonts and superscripts were very uncommon in the late 1960s and early 1970s - but are automatic in today's Microsoft Word. The military lingo has been questioned. Where is the official letterhead? The signature of the late Lt. Col. Jerry Killian, the reported author is suspect. Killian's widow and son are utterly rejecting the validity of the reports, calling them "a farce." CBS News reports these papers came from Killian's "personal file", even though his family claims the papers did not come from them, and Lt. Col. Jerry Killian did not keep copious written notes. How could CBS News have not done even the most basic fact checking?

Even ABC News, another skanky concubine of the left, is starting to look good to me. What the hell? In this bloody orgy of frenzied feeding ripping apart the biased and half-assed reporting by bin Rather and CBS News, all are welcome! Just keep the shoes on!\\Politics\\archive\\200409\\POL20040909d.html\Politics\archive\200409\POL20040910b.html\Politics\archive\200409\POL20040910d.html

Oh! The rapture!

Looking at the transcript from the Barnes interview, the former Lt. Governor says, "I-- that's-- that's not my nature to get involved and wanna be political. And that's not why I'm here today." Yet later he makes this statement, "Well, I've been helping Sen. Kerry's campaign from the first day announced." That does not sound like a person who's nature is not to be political. Even the NY Times, the bastion of liberal bias describes Barnes as follows:

"Mr. Barnes, 66, an adviser to Senator John Kerry's campaign and an influential lobbyist with offices in Austin and Washington..."

Climactically, Fox News, my favorite mistress in this carnal feast of journalistic slaughter is reporting that "A key source who was named to back up CBS News' claims about the authenticity of documents used in a report on President Bush's (search) Air National Guard service has recanted his support, saying the network got the information wrong.",2933,132157,00.html

This is too much to take! The dog isn't being fed. The yard work isn't being done. God, it's hot in here... Bills aren't getting paid. I don't care! I don't care! I love it! I love it!


Terry McAuliffe is not only distancing himself from this memo, he is implicitly blaming Karl Rove and the RNC of planting this bomb to make Democrats look bad. I wonder if Terry also believes that Israel is actually behind the 9/11 attacks. He certainly knows, like the rest of us, that bin Rather will ignore fact-checking and run with any ball that advances his liberal agenda. Objectivity be damned!

But despite a chicken-farm's worth of eggs on the face of bin Rather, CBS is standing by their man. Their official statement reads: "For the record, CBS News stands by the thoroughness and accuracy of the 60 MINUTES report this Wednesday on President Bush's service in the Texas Air National Guard."

Talk about gas with oily discharge!


Post a Comment

<< Home