Tuesday, June 01, 2004

June 1, 2004 - Note from Osama, "Do not stare at the hooters!"

Today's Commentary: June 1st, 2004

I was going to pen something about Al Gore's recent 'Evening at the Improv', but that would have been too easy. Although when he calls this administration the most dishonest since Nixon, I must confess to being amazed at his brass onions. I suppose it all depends on what your definition of 'felony perjury' is. It also is a great example of knowing the audience you present to. I guess he knew they were partisan idiots. But I digress...

Several months ago, I read a book titled "Terrorist Hunter" written by Rita Katz. It is an impressive story of a Jewish woman in Iraq who was a child when Saddam Hussein came to power, and how her family escaped through a then secular Iran.

She is currently at the SITE institute which tracks down terrorist entities (the Arab word for this is 'charities') in the US. Given her fluency in Arab languages, she also does alot of translations. I recently received an email from the SITE list which contained a translated Al Qaeda training manual on kidnapping. Only 6 pages long, it is a highlight of kidnapping how-to's. It describes the reasons for a kidnapping, the physical and psychological requirements, how to perform a public kidnapping (ie. the theater in Moscow) and how to perform a secret kidnapping (ie. Dan Pearl).

In a section titled "Security measures for public kidnapping:", two rules caught my eye. The first was "Abide by Muslim laws as your actions may become a Da'wa [call to join Islam]." So apparently the 'religion of peace and love' wants its members to be certain that kidnap victims are treated with the accords of Muslim law, including the part where their brains are made into a Picasso if negotiations are stalled. Well, as long as innocent hostages are slaughtered Islamically, I guess it's OK.

The second security measure of interest for public kidnapping was "Avoid looking at women." Yep. In the high stakes, high pressure, life and death world of global terrorism, a perfectly good Jihad can be blown by checking out the panty lines on one of your hostages. Imagine the 'behind the scenes' discussion between Salib and Mohammed at the next kidnap standoff to be plastered on network and cable news outlets...

"Salib, do you have the detonators?"
"Praise Allah, check!"
"Is the perimeter armed?"
"Are the ventilation shafts sealed off?"
"Are the hostages secured?"
"Is the escape vehicle fueled and ready?"
"Now Salib, let's not have a problem similar to the botched embassy job in Algiers."
"But Mohammed, the receptionist was not wearing a bra and it was cold!"
"Praise Allah!"

I wonder how the National Organization of Whiners feels about this?


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